No Regrets

Throughout childhood I was teased every single day for being the fat kid.... I was never "Normal" sized and would never fit in....  I ask myself sometimes if I regret being fat.... although I did not have that much control .. and my answer is No ... why would I??  I believe it has made me the person I am today!! ... I believe all the Bullying and Pain I went through as a child and young adult has built the structure and foundation of my personality today... I do not believe that I would be who I am without the teasing and depression of my youth... people say you learn through experiences and through experiences I have learned alot... I have learned that looks mean nothing ... Looks do not define a person and Beauty runs deep inside .... I have learned that it does not matter what ones profession is or what education one has ... it does not matter where a person lives or how they live.... it does not matter who they love or what they love ... we are all human ... all the same ... so why do people feel the need to Bully others ... to put them down to a lower level emotionaly than they feel... I guess through their own regrets and insecurities they feel the need to make others feel worse than themselves ... Now as I embark on this journey to shed the layers of my past choices I am becomming stronger .. not only my body ... but in my mind as well .... every insult and every moment of depression because of those insults were worth it ... I wouldn't be half the person I am today without them.... so to all the Bullies out there ..Although I Def do not agree with what you did... thank you for helping me Become the person I am today with no regrets and lots of strength!!

No More Excuses

So many times in the past I have tried and was unsuccesful ... at one thing or another I woukld always make an excuse to not do it today ... and put it all off ... I have done this with weight loss sooo many times and have givin up after soo long ... why did I do this??  ... was I afraid of success??  was I afraid I would get too much attention??  was I lazy??  ... I cannot answer those questions ... I don't really know why?? I think somthing deep inside is afraid of failure tho... I guess that is a given... the what if I do this and then gain it back like so many b4 me ... or what if I get so far and then give up again ... But you know what ... for some reason ... this time it is different ... I feel different mentally and physically ... I feel like I can do it this time ... I look forward to the smaller clothes, the easier walks and runs, the more active lifestyle ... yet I take it one day at a time ... the decisions I make today affect tomorrow and tomorrow the next day... I make a decision every day to be healthy and to be a better version of myself!! It is a slow process but will totally be worth it!!  I am winning my life and will be healthier than I have been in my whole life!! 

Running For Life

I Ran for the cure On Sunday!!  Even though I didn't sleep well It felt great!!  I have never been able to run really fast and have even struggled with walking in the past without getting winded ... this time I ran as much as I could around people ... there was 3500 people there and I got stuck somewhere in the middle and it was hard to get around some people ... Hills are still not my Best friends but as I was walking the hills in the run I was reflecting on the past ... I used to get just as winded walking in the past on flat land or even going down hill as I was walking up that hill ... even more so ... I seen that I came far and am still working on getting better... There were 3 hills on the walk ... the first was the hardest ... the second not as bad ... and the third I was almost to the top b4 I realized I was walking it ... there were soo many people who took shorter paths .. who cut off the road and went on the trail so they could avoid that last hill ... I was def not going there ... to me that was cheating .. not that there was strict rules as it was not a "Race"  more a charity event!!  .... the last 1/2 km the roads were all torn up due to the recent hurricane so I had to take my time due to all the "ankle Twisting" rocks ...  but the finish line was on pavement so I ran across the finish line ... I was soo surprised that the biggest shirt they had was a XL ... so I took it ... tried it on .. and  it fit ... I was sooo surprised (I think they are a big make tho) ... I did it it under an hour 54 mins to be exact .... I am proud ... next year it will be alot faster!!