Woah it has been a while since I wrote something .... I have been a busy woman latly and have not been online alot ... I have been preparing for the season to come ... trying to make the healthiest choices possible in some impossible situations .... I have been having some down time with my workouts which I hate ... I messed up my back and it do not seem to want to get better ... well it has no choice ... this week is going to be the start of getting back to my kettlebells ... they are calling me and I miss them sooo much ... so at least 4 KB workouts this week ... and some fun activities on the wii and more .... I would love to get alot more weight off for this summer ... I see 7 months til summer ... even if I lose 10 lbs a month ... thats 70 lbs by summer!!I think that is doable!!
Throughout childhood I was teased every single day for being the fat kid.... I was never "Normal" sized and would never fit in.... I ask myself sometimes if I regret being fat.... although I did not have that much control .. and my answer is No ... why would I?? I believe it has made me the person I am today!! ... I believe all the Bullying and Pain I went through as a child and young adult has built the structure and foundation of my personality today... I do not believe that I would be who I am without the teasing and depression of my youth... people say you learn through experiences and through experiences I have learned alot... I have learned that looks mean nothing ... Looks do not define a person and Beauty runs deep inside .... I have learned that it does not matter what ones profession is or what education one has ... it does not matter where a person lives or how they live.... it does not matter who they love or what they love ... we are all human ... all the same ... so why do people feel the need to Bully others ... to put them down to a lower level emotionaly than they feel... I guess through their own regrets and insecurities they feel the need to make others feel worse than themselves ... Now as I embark on this journey to shed the layers of my past choices I am becomming stronger .. not only my body ... but in my mind as well .... every insult and every moment of depression because of those insults were worth it ... I wouldn't be half the person I am today without them.... so to all the Bullies out there ..Although I Def do not agree with what you did... thank you for helping me Become the person I am today with no regrets and lots of strength!!
So many times in the past I have tried and was unsuccesful ... at one thing or another I woukld always make an excuse to not do it today ... and put it all off ... I have done this with weight loss sooo many times and have givin up after soo long ... why did I do this?? ... was I afraid of success?? was I afraid I would get too much attention?? was I lazy?? ... I cannot answer those questions ... I don't really know why?? I think somthing deep inside is afraid of failure tho... I guess that is a given... the what if I do this and then gain it back like so many b4 me ... or what if I get so far and then give up again ... But you know what ... for some reason ... this time it is different ... I feel different mentally and physically ... I feel like I can do it this time ... I look forward to the smaller clothes, the easier walks and runs, the more active lifestyle ... yet I take it one day at a time ... the decisions I make today affect tomorrow and tomorrow the next day... I make a decision every day to be healthy and to be a better version of myself!! It is a slow process but will totally be worth it!! I am winning my life and will be healthier than I have been in my whole life!!
I Ran for the cure On Sunday!! Even though I didn't sleep well It felt great!! I have never been able to run really fast and have even struggled with walking in the past without getting winded ... this time I ran as much as I could around people ... there was 3500 people there and I got stuck somewhere in the middle and it was hard to get around some people ... Hills are still not my Best friends but as I was walking the hills in the run I was reflecting on the past ... I used to get just as winded walking in the past on flat land or even going down hill as I was walking up that hill ... even more so ... I seen that I came far and am still working on getting better... There were 3 hills on the walk ... the first was the hardest ... the second not as bad ... and the third I was almost to the top b4 I realized I was walking it ... there were soo many people who took shorter paths .. who cut off the road and went on the trail so they could avoid that last hill ... I was def not going there ... to me that was cheating .. not that there was strict rules as it was not a "Race" more a charity event!! .... the last 1/2 km the roads were all torn up due to the recent hurricane so I had to take my time due to all the "ankle Twisting" rocks ... but the finish line was on pavement so I ran across the finish line ... I was soo surprised that the biggest shirt they had was a XL ... so I took it ... tried it on .. and it fit ... I was sooo surprised (I think they are a big make tho) ... I did it it under an hour 54 mins to be exact .... I am proud ... next year it will be alot faster!!
You Work Hard Everyday to try to reach your goals and live up to your expectations... you give what you can and do what you can to help yourself and others get through the day! Your days are filled to the brim with I gotta get this, this and that done plus juggling Family, workout, school, work, hobby... Some Days You just have to rest ... and today Rest I did... OK, Breathe
I try to help out in any way I can to as many charities as possible... Unfortunatly I do not have alot of cash to go around so I look for more creative and inventive ways to Help... aka the Run for the Cure or Donating My Hair... anything I can do to help I try to do!! I am a person who believes that one person Do Make a difference ... even though most people do not believe this I do... People say what is the difference will it make if I help... Imagine the whole world said that ... the world would not develop... would not advance ... we would still have Small Pox and Polio to worry about ... I believe every person has the ability to make a difference in this world something even as simple as smiling at a stranger ... you do not know where they have been today ... Maybe seeing that there is some good left in this world ... that a stranger took the time to actually give a gesture of kindness and acknowledgement that they are there will bring them up out of whatever slum mood they may be in... I think there is kindness in everybody but sometimes it gets lost deep inside and the simple gestures of their surroundings may be what makes the difference in a good day and a bad day!!! give it a try sometime ... a simple smile ... and a hello .... or hold the door for someone the little free things in life that make more of a difference than you will ever know!!
Hard Work and Dedication are the two most important things in any journey In My Opinion!! You have to be willing to work every day towards what you want most and focus on that rather than what you want right this second.. you have to be dedicated to what works for you ... whatever system, program, lifestyle that Fits your body and your mind... some people like to do things alone... I on the other hand like to have support ... and somehow support from people who are not family of friends (in the beginning anyways) help more... I don't know if anyone else agrees but for me its good to have someone who has been in your shoes, who has tried sooo many times as you and have had the same hiccups as you in your journey ... someone to relate to ... I am not saying that support from family and friends is not welcome and accepted ... in fact it is wonderful ... but it is kind of expected if you know what I mean... but when people who do not know you but do know you on a deeper level because they have been there give you support and encouragement to go the extra mile it means alot ... it means that they know where you are and what you are capable of ... they are not just standing on the sidelines cheering you on they are right beside you running their own race...
and are willing to pick you up when you fall flat on your face!! Helping people is one thing I have always been passionate about in my life and now I have the opportunity to help the people who have started after me ... to tell them my experiences and assure them that things do get easier!! Hard work Definatly Pays off and Dedication to this lifestyle will definatly be worth while as I see the Outer Layers Melt away......